we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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