Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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