Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
