Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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