All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
