It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
