Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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