I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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