He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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