Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
