So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
