Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my phone needs a breathalizer
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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