You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
