There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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