He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
