Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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