If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
