i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize