Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
