i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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