there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
