i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
