Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
