I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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