Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
