I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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