So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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