another moral hangover. fuck.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
