i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Also, beer. Big fan.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
