i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
