at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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