The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Randomize