She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She's the barista slut.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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