There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
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