Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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