Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You smell like stripper and shame
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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