I don't think brook has ever known best
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
