Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
