quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just had sex bonerless
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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