I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
