my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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