Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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