People in love make me want to vomit
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Randomize
