I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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