Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
