It's like God shit irony all over that family
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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