So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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