Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
