Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
