hotel room ftw
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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