CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
