I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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