Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
