sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
