so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he was CRYING into my vagina
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
