She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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