Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
