Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
