She went from zero to smokin in five shots
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
