Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
