operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
